Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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