I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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