I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
