She announced her abortion via fbk
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
