He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize