Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Ketchup is God's man juice
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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