so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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