walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
