Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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