what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
