I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize