They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
