oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
