she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
