real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
