I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
