he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
