What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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