...so i touched it.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
it was like eating out sand paper
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
