Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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