i think my mom watched the whole time
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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