help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Randomize
