Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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