people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
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