I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
