I must be too annoying 4 u.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
