Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
