I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
