I bet he comes in French.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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