I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
