4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
