I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
