he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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