Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
