My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
