if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
