I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
