she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
