Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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