I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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