He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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