idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
