Small penises have feelings too.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
