just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
