I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
