OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize