Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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