i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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