What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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