I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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