We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
well you can't waste a boner
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
