it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
