Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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