Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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