you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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