only if we run a train.
done.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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