whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
