Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
