Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
This toilet bowl is my home.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
