All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
