so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
