If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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