Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
