Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
