please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize