My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
