i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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