Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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