You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize