1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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