alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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