My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
